Conversion practices - LGBT+ people of colour and minority ethnic faith experiences: research report

Suppression, cultural coercion and ‘consent’

“I think it’s a subconscious thing. I don’t want to be with anyone, but I don’t understand why I don’t want to be with anyone, I put that down to society. I don’t mind gays at all, I don’t have any problem with them going out with someone of the same sex. I feel a wee bit better because I’m not doing anything about it, I’m only partially conforming to that role. I think I feel I’m slightly superior to them, I mean I am part of them (gays) but not really being with them. That’s why I know I can never be with a girl. I just can’t, it sometimes feels wrong, it doesn’t even come to my mind to be honest ... I think it’s a lot easier and less complicated being on your own. Also if I was to be with another person, I’d be throwing away so much, society, community, family, I mean, what they would think of me?"^[28]

People of colour and those of minority ethnic faith, experience conflict around ethnicity, sexuality and gender.^[29] People are likely to feel such conflict “because the dominant culture, social structures, and norms do not typically reflect those of the minority group.”^[30] People of colour and those of minority ethnic faith are “aware of the negative stereotypes surrounding homosexuality” within their community and, in some cases, apply these stereotypes to themselves^[31] and may “accept and internalise them”.^[32]

When exploring experiences of heterosexism and racism, Balsam et al^[33] found that heterosexism had a greater impact on mental health than racism. People of colour and those of minority ethnic faith are still facing social stigma and prejudice based on sexuality and ethnicity.^[34]

“These stressors are driven by the cultural representations of sexuality and shape individuals’ views regarding their own sexual identity. The limited and stigmatising terminology and cultural misperceptions can in turn induce homophobic attitudes: “If your parents are from a culture where homophobia is like accepted and its part of - like my dad is from Jamaica and - the dominant dialogue around LGBT people in Jamaica is very homophobic.” (Lauren, female, social support work)

Rehman et al, in press: 07

Shakti Women’s Aid made it clear to us that of course many LGBT+ people in the UK have roots in other countries. Some of these countries are where conversion practices, as well as differently regulated psychological therapeutic practices (where in some cases the therapeutic practice is CP), are the norm. We have found this to be significant in people’s experiences.

Deep rooted bias, homophobia, and prejudice can lead to a culture that encourages suppression and/ or direct CP. Sometimes this may not be intended, and sometimes this is with wilful intention. According to Ogunmuyiwa^[35], the 'norm' within some black communities and black culture and / or some minority faith communities, to be anti-LGBT+, and to use derogatory language or messaging around these identities and orientations, can ‘pull’ some individuals towards CP. He also believes that as cultural and/or religious identity may be more vital to an individual than their LGBT+ identity, they may also be pulled towards these practices. Ogunmuyiwa describes the ‘push’ (anti-LGBT+ rhetoric ‘by people of influence within communities,’ coercion, force, violence and intentional suppression or aim to change someone else) and the ‘pull’ (the reasons and circumstances in which individuals may feel themselves pulled towards consenting to or seeking out these practices) to distinguish how religion and culture factor into conversion practices. Ogunmuyiwa states that survivors have sometimes self-referred to conversion practices, because of recommendations from trusted sources and networks, and because of a lack of alternatives (‘push’).

When we spoke with Asma, an English, non-binary, queer, intersex person from South Asian heritage, they highlighted the subtle and complex forms that conversion practices can take. They made clear that sometimes such implicit forms of conversion practices can be harder to address because they are harder to pinpoint. Sometimes conversion, by way of suppression and/ or coercing someone into suppressing their own identity is equally as powerful. Many of the stakeholders we spoke to mentioned this –they seemingly ‘consented’ to suppressing their own identity, or engaging with acts of conversion, due to consistently receiving the message that they are wrong to be whom they are, or to act upon desires.

Asma explained that if a ‘circle of loved ones rejects you’ from a young age it can have a lifelong impact. They also made clear that much like in instances of domestic abuse, leaving is not always an easy option: they believe this is due to strong emotional connections with family, culture, and security. Asma noted that cultural and religious heritage are really important, and that it is not easy or necessarily desired to turn one’s back on many aspects of who they are, including feelings of connection and peace in their religion. They believe that “this is why people go back,” and equally how perpetrators can manipulate LGBT+ people into suppressing who they are. This struggle with manipulation and suppression is damaging to an individual’s sense of self and can bring a sense of shame, especially when others within the community speak about who you are in a judgemental manner.

In Rehman’s work^[36], a participant provides a similar summary of coming out and what one might envisage upon this disclosure to family when within the POC community and / or of minority ethnic faith. Using further theory, Rehman states that within these communities there is a collectivist cultural orientation [unlike the individualist traditional Western orientation] – this means that “the family is integral to identity”.^[37] – ”Thus, fear of losing one’s family can preclude coming out.”^[38]. It may also lead to suppression and seeking out conversion practices.

According to Sarbat Sikhs, there is a cultural fear of rejection amongst Sikh and South Asian LGBT+ people – this fear of rejection encompasses a fear of losing both one’s faith and one’s family. It is suggested that this fear may be greater due to the significance of family and faith support in one’s life. Practices most commonly reflect this suppression. The fear of having no support outside of the family and faith setting is repeated by many, and the reality is that there is little culturally competent support elsewhere in Scotland. Some of the fear mentioned here is of not only rejection, but of bringing dishonour to one’s family, alongside a fear of honour abuse, abduction and of forced marriage.

Heteronormativity is likely and often the accepted norm within south Asian communities, and gender roles are clearly defined and established - diversion from these norms comes with the threat of complete isolation and having to 'cope on one’s own' (perceived) and no longer be a part of family/faith and therefore no longer feel oneself. Faith is a very large part of the self and one’s sense of self within the family and the world.

The ‘push’ and ‘pull’ are often entwined - as Ogunmuyiwa^[39] states. For many people, the separation of self, faith, and culture is an impossibility. We also heard this from Sarbat Sikhs - people cannot separate their faith from who they are, so often seek to suppress their sexual orientation and / or gender identity in order to remain safe within their family / faith support structures. We heard from Sarbat Sikhs that suppression was the norm for people who have a sexual orientation or gender identity that differs from the cis-heteronormative.

Some individuals self-monitor their behaviours around friends, family, and family acquaintances. For one of Fry et al’s^[40] participants fear compounded this and increased her stress. This was because she had been told by her parents that if the community or family found out, they would treat her badly. Her family also told her that if her extended family in India found out that she was a lesbian, they would ‘ “have heart attacks and die,” and although she knows that this is irrational, she believes that this may be true^[41]’ which has an impact on her psyche. This person feels stress because she has hidden her relationship for a long time and feels the pressure to get married to a man and have children. Of interest here is Runnymede’s^[42] finding that;

“While the theoretical distinction of choice and consent between forced and arranged marriage is well known, the reality of it is that young people found it extremely hard to identify where emotional pressure was “force””.

Runnymede also found that a factor here that may pull individuals towards arranged or forced marriage (as a form of supposedly consensual suppression or conversion in this case) is that within communities of colour and minority ethnic faith communities there is a culture of respect for one’s elders that is powerful enough for younger people not to challenge this practice - this was “particularly so with young women who were more likely to perceive their parent’s motives as benign which could be an additional factor in their susceptibility to emotional pressure.”^[43] According to Jaspal^[44], echoing Runnymede, young people within south Asian communities “are often reminded of their religious and cultural obligation to get married.” If someone violates cultural norms and expectations here, this can often end in negative interpersonal relationships and being viewed as “abnormal” and “sinful.”^[45] This pressure can and does have effect on psychological and emotional wellbeing.