Staying together and connected: getting it right for sisters and brothers: national practice guidance

Part 2: 10. Assessing brothers' and/or sisters' needs and relationships

Part 2 is designed to assist practitioners who are assessing children's relationships and creating plans for practical implementation. This includes detailed information on aspects of assessment, planning and decision-making; and supporting sibling relationships with time together. It is suggested that this part be read in conjunction with the innovative and creative practice section in Part 1; which also lays out the legal and policy context for sisters and brothers who are not able to safely live at home.

When a child can no longer live at home with their parent(s) and comes into care they must, where the local authority deems it to be appropriate, be looked after, in the same place as their sisters and brothers, or in homes which are near them, if they are also in care^[55]. This applies whether children are with kinship carers, foster carers or in a residential establishment, if it safeguards and promotes the welfare of the child, and that of other children. This means that brothers and/or sisters should not be separated, unless there is a clear reason to believe that living together does not safeguard and promote their welfare.

Making such determinations is not always straightforward, and the needs and welfare of different children may sometimes appear to be in conflict. This guidance is designed to support practitioners to assess relationships and make care planning decisions, and it is important to consider this Section in conjunction with Section 11.

Where there is evidence that a child's welfare might not be safeguarded and promoted by living with their brothers and/or sisters, this must be comprehensively assessed. The needs of the child must be understood, identified and met so that relationships can be supported to develop and flourish where possible.

10.1 The child at the centre

Children's lives and relationships are complex, some children may have complicated networks of sister and brother relationships which may seem a challenge to practitioners to understand and assess. The important cornerstone within this complexity is keeping the child, and their unique and individual needs, at the centre of all assessment and planning, involving them and communicating decisions clearly.

Relationships with brothers and sisters are fundamentally important to children and young people and must be respected. Living together with all their brothers and sisters may not be possible for all children in care if it does not safeguard and promote the child's welfare. However, relationships with brothers and sisters must be carefully considered, comprehensively assessed, and supported in the best way to uphold children's rights. (This is further discussed in Section 10).

10.2 Understanding complex relationships

The relationships between sisters and/or brothers are as rich and diverse as the children and families they stem from. Brothers and sisters play, argue, negotiate, and fall in and out with one another: these are normal parts of the relationship.^[56] To some degree, all sisters' and/or brothers' relationships will entail a complex and changing dynamic involving warmth, affection, cooperation, conflict and rivalry. All aspects of brothers' and/or sisters' relationships (both positive and negative) can be intensified when they experience trauma, loss, abuse or neglect.^[57]

Having brothers and sisters to play with may provide children with a key source of unconditional, reciprocal joy and excitement. Whilst no two experiences will be the same, in circumstances where child-parent relationships have been compromised, sibling relationships can be a source of protection and safety. These relationships are significant in how identity forms, not least by having a shared history and roots with others.

These relationships can, however, also give rise to complex, and sometimes misplaced, feelings around responsibility and protection, particularly towards younger siblings. On occasions, depending on family dynamics, the relationships between sisters and/or brothers may have become distorted to the extent that one child may have been ostracised or scapegoated by other family members, or an older sibling may become a source of fear or harm to their younger brothers and sisters. What all of this means is that there need to be strengths-based, multi-disciplinary, holistic assessments that understand sibling relationships from the standpoint of a child and their fundamental need for safe connection with others who matter to them. Healthy relationships need to be maintained and bolstered and, where relationships may have become distorted, careful consideration needs to be given to how these might be repaired.

Creative solutions

'We supported a group of 4 brothers and sisters, who all lived apart and had not seen one another for 2 years, to spend family time together. Because of the ways in their earlier years that they had learnt to interact with one another, to begin with their only interactions were physical or swear words. Slowly and carefully, and with our therapeutic intervention, we were able to ease out interests they had in common, and for these brothers and sisters this was acting. After a year of regular visits, the dynamics had changed so much that these brothers and sisters were enjoying spending time together making scenes from paper and cardboard, writing plays and acting them out. We felt really proud of them, their bond blossomed.' (Source: STAR, Siblings Reunited)

It is only by understanding how a child's unique history has shaped their relationships with their brothers and sisters, that the right care and support can be provided to assist their relationships to positively develop. Assessing this is shaped through meaningful communication with children, young people and their families, and skilled listening to and understanding of the whole family history. Relationships and spending time together can be problematic and negatively experienced when pre-existing tensions in brothers' and/or sisters' relationships are not addressed.^[58] For many brothers and/or sisters, separating them will result in further trauma and loss, and limit opportunities to rebuild relationships.^[59]

Assessing brothers' and/or sisters' relationships

10.3 Who makes an assessment?

Understanding and assessing the relationships between brothers and/or sisters is an ongoing process, rather than a 'task' to be carried out by one person on one occasion. Assessments must not be left until such a time that sisters and/or brothers are separated, in fact, separation should only occur as the result of assessment determining that this is the best way to safeguard and promote a child's welfare.

When brothers and/or sisters are living apart, assessment should begin immediately by working jointly with parents, carers and the multi-disciplinary Team Around the Child to assess and plan to meet the child's holistic wellbeing needs.^[60] The local authority ultimately holds responsibility for determining if it is appropriate for brothers and/or sisters to be placed together in care, and if it is appropriate to spend time together if they do not live together. As such, local authority social work services take a lead role in assessments where the child may need to be looked after away from home. However, all other services such as health, psychology, education and specialist therapies, practitioners, family and carers in the Team Around the Child have a crucial role in offering their perspectives and analysis to enrich the assessment. As such it should be seen as a joint, shared and ongoing activity.

An important way in which the child's family can fully participate with the Team Around the Child in assessment is by involving Family Group Decision Making services, which local authorities have a duty to provide where children are "at risk of becoming looked after".^[61] Through such strengths-based services, families report feeling listened to and valued, and plans which utilise families' perspectives and solutions can be developed.^[62]

10.4 Purpose(s) of assessment

The depth, nature and scope of an assessment will differ depending on the reason for carrying it out, and the child's plan. In every case (whether the assessment is concerned with living together, or spending time with one another) the presumption should be positively in favour of keeping brothers and/or sisters together, unless there is a clear, evidenced reason not to.

• If an assessment is to determine whether it is appropriate for a child to be placed (or reunited) with their brothers and sisters (because there is an indication that this may not promote or safeguard their welfare, or that their relationship requires support to enable them to live together), this requires a full, detailed and comprehensive assessment of the needs of the child, their relationships, and the strengths and risks involved in living together, or apart from, their brothers and sisters (including the impact on the welfare of any other children which may be impacted, for example, children already living in the care placement).
• If an assessment is to determine whether it is appropriate for the child to spend time together with a brother or sister that they do not live with, the context is different, as it does not involve a consideration of living together. These assessments are no less important, as they have an impact on how the child is supported to keep in touch with brothers and sisters who still live in the family home, who live in other private family arrangements, who are older and live independently, or who are also in care settings but cannot live with the child.

A child may be living with their brothers and/or sisters during the time assessments are made, but this is not always the case. This might mean that assessments are developed during time spent together when brothers and sisters know they will soon need to part company. Sometimes these situations may bring feelings of sadness and loss to the surface.^[63] These emotions must not in themselves solely result in conclusions that it is better for brothers and/or sisters to live separately or not see one another.

It is also vital that the reasons for a decision to separate are sensitively and clearly explained to all the siblings involved along with the reasons for the decision. Attention needs to be paid to each child's reaction to and feelings around the decision with continuous follow up care and understanding of this loss and separation offered by parents, carers and GIRFEC practitioners involved with the child.

Creative solutions

'Three brothers and their sister recently came into care, and keeping them together was an initial high priority. Three of the children went to stay together with foster carers while the youngest brother was looked after by his Aunt.

It became clear quickly that the children needed more support than the experienced foster carer could give as they started to deal with their trauma, which was having a detrimental impact on their relationships with each other. It was agreed that the children needed separate placements with regular contact in order for the Foster Carers and Social Worker to fully assess their needs.

The Foster Carers have worked extremely hard to ensure that the children see one another often. The most recent of this was a trip for the children and their carers to a local country park, organised by the Foster Carers. The Foster Carers have also arranged sleepovers for the children, and have supported them to see each other for birthdays and special occasions.

The children are benefitting from having space and individual attention, and are now expressing love and care for each other when they meet up. Assessments are progressing to explore the children's needs to be placed together with at least one other sibling.' (Source: Aberdeenshire Council)

10.5 Using frameworks

A variety of frameworks exist to assist the practice of detailed assessment of sisters' and/or brothers' relationships.^[64] These frameworks focus on a range of issues to consider, and vary in scope, detail and approach. Whilst no one framework has yet to be robustly validated in the context of practice, all have value, and it is not the intention of this guidance to prescribe the use of one over another. Instead, a summary of the key elements and perspectives to include are suggested here. These should be considered and, where necessary, integrated into each local authority's, or fostering and adoption agency's, approach to assessment, within the overarching Getting it right for every child assessment framework.

Such an approach starts with the experience of a child's life and follows the current day-to-day experience of the child. It must be:

• Developmentally focused
• Trauma alert
• Holistic
• Participative
• Multi-agency.

10.6 Key elements to include

Assessment is a dynamic process and should be regularly reviewed and respond to changing needs.

Needs of the child

To understand complex and interrelated needs, dynamics and behaviours of a child, it is necessary to develop a comprehensive understanding of their needs as outlined in the Getting it right for every child National Practice model, and in relation to:

• Experiences within their family (including pre-birth)
• Experiences in care
• Relationships with their brothers and sisters^[65]

Comprehensive assessment with the individual child at the centre is crucial, as well as assessing their relationships with their sisters and brothers as part of a sibling group. This will ensure the needs of the child remain the central consideration, whilst enabling planning of any support required to promote relationships between brothers and sisters. As unique individuals, each child is likely to have different parenting needs to their brothers and sisters, and different relationships with their wider family members. The adult(s) they live with must be suitable to meet all these needs now, and into the future, including supporting their relationships with their brothers and/or sisters. Families are not expected to do this alone and it is critical that the Team Around the Child is able to identify and anticipate when additional and early help is needed.

10.7 Dimensions to consider

Certain dimensions are important to consider in all assessments.^[66] These include:

• Warmth, care, love and positive engagement

These can be explored by considering the extent to which brothers and/or sisters are affectionate and caring to each other, and whether they recognise one another's distress and offer comfort. Additionally, by understanding the extent to which brothers and/or sisters can settle disagreements and be companionable again. Consider whether brothers and/or sisters share their feelings with one another, and how these are received. Do they recognise when each other is upset, and offer comfort? How do brothers and/or sisters describe each other, and who do they identify that they like to spend time with and who likes to spend time with them? Sometimes, parental neglect or abuse can result in strong bonds between brothers and/or sisters, caring for one another or finding love and nurture in these relationships. While such relationships can be very strong, children may also require additional support to respond to needs arising because of parental neglect or abuse. Where children assume a caring role for their brothers and sisters, this should not always be seen as a concern, and indicates how important these relationships are to children. Where there are concerns that a child is undertaking developmentally inappropriate levels of responsibility, this indicates a need for support.^[67] It is unhelpful to use technical language such as 'parentified child' and 'trauma-bond' within assessments, as these terms have specific meanings in psychology, and should not be used without specialist input and assessment.

• Conflict, aggression and attempts to dominate or bully

Conflict and emotional intensity are common and to be expected in sibling relationships, particularly where brothers and/or sisters are similar in age or the same gender. Rivalry and conflict are normal within families, but the circumstances whereby some children come into care may have also caused damage in relationships between brothers and/or sisters.^[68] Where brothers and/or sisters have perceived their treatment by parents to be unfairly differential, or where there has been abuse in the household, relationships may be more hostile or resentful. It is important also for practitioners to be alert and mindful to the impact on sisters and brothers who have been exposed to domestic abuse between adults within a household.

Examine whether the play and interactions between brothers and/or sisters are lively, energetic and fun; or whether there is underlying aggression or discomfort. Consider how brothers and/or sisters deal with conflict, and how individual children react to pressure. Do some brothers or sisters appear to assume a particular role, for example, as an instigator of conflict, or as a scapegoat? Explore if there is evidence of exploitation or attempts to assert dominance, and consider reasons for this, for example, brothers may attempt to exert dominance over sisters if they have grown up in an environment where males are seen as superior. Whilst all children who are brothers and/or sisters will experience conflict from time to time, this is more concerning if conflict is frequent and there is little emotional warmth underlying the relationship which enables children to make up when they fall out.^[69] Whilst none of these alone are sufficient to support a decision to separate siblings, they may indicate a need for further specialist assessment, particularly skilled care, or therapeutic intervention.

• Competition and rivalry for adult attention

Competition and rivalry are common features within most sibling relationships, but the extent to which they feature and how they are experienced may indicate the need for support to develop the relationship. Consider how brothers and sisters manage when another sibling is receiving adult attention. Examine whether there is evidence of a hierarchy of positions, or power imbalance, and any impact this has on brothers and sisters. There may be evidence of one child being 'left out' and unable to re-join the group, or some children 'pairing off' and not allowing other siblings to interact.

• Early experiences and histories

Understanding the life experiences brothers and/or sisters have had (as individuals, as well as within their relationships with their siblings) is critical to underpin any assessment. Brothers and/or sisters may have experienced differential treatment, and the impact of this on their relationship should be considered. An understanding of children's histories is the foundation of meaningful assessment, from which plans to support and enable relationships to flourish can be developed.

Children who arrive in Scotland unaccompanied or separated from their parents or guardians, including children who claim asylum or who have been trafficked, have often experienced grave loss and adversity. Their relationships with brothers and sisters (and the new sibling-like relationships they may form with other children because of their care experience) can be a particular source of comfort, identity and importance.

10.8 Children's involvement

Involving children, in a way which is appropriate to their stage of development, is central to making a high quality, rights-based assessment. More guidance is given in Section 8 about how to do this. Through one-to-one sessions with children, their thoughts and feelings can be sensitively understood about their life at home, their hopes for the future, and the important people in their lives and what matters to them. Children who are very young, or who have special communication needs may require additional support to share their views, and this must be provided. It is important for children to see that their views matter, and that they have influence.

Whilst giving children the opportunity to talk about their relationships with their brothers and sisters, including who they would like to live with and who they would like to see, research indicates that it is not best practice to directly ask which of their siblings they do and do not wish to live with:

"Asking children directly which brothers or sisters they might want to be placed with is not recommended as good practice… Children should not be given this responsibility but should be helped to express their feelings and to communicate their thoughts about family relationships."^[70]

10.9 Working together (sisters and/or brothers, parents, carers and practitioners)

Assessments are strengthened by including the views and observations of the people who know children best, who, other than the children themselves, include their parents and/or carers, family, and practitioners with whom they have contact. All will have valuable thoughts, insights and contributions to make about the relationships between brothers and/or sisters, how these have developed, what has impacted on them, and how they can be supported. Involving all parties in making an assessment is a core part of the Getting it right for every child approach and will enable a rich understanding of the child's strengths and needs. More guidance on working together is given in Section 6.

Creative solutions

'We worked with three girls who all lived separately and did not know they had sisters. Through carefully planned life story work, we were able to start exchanging photographs and cards, and later to meet through video-messaging.

The sisters wanted to meet each other face-to-face. We needed to be cautious because of the oldest sister's emotional wellbeing, and we were also aware of the added complexity that the girls – they lived in different parts of the country and had different longer term care plans.

Through careful planning involving family, carers and the Team Around the Child (which included Child and Adolescent Mental Health (CAMHS) practitioners) we were able to make a robust assessment about family time. CAMHS felt some of the difficulties with the older sister's wellbeing related to her limited knowledge of her life story, and knowing she had family but not knowing who or where they were. Seeing her sisters was thought likely to help her. We gradually started family time for the sisters, and this now happens regularly.' (Source: Glasgow City Council)

10.10 Analysis and planning

Assessments are important tools to support analysis and planning. Assessing the many complex aspects of the relationships between brothers and/or sisters is the beginning of a process which highlights unmet needs and must result in a comprehensive plan to meet these needs. It is not sufficient for an assessment to conclude that there is intense conflict and rivalry within a brother and/or sister relationship; what is required is a plan detailing how, in the unique context of the children concerned, their relationship can best be supported to grow safely and healthily.

10.11 Recording information

In terms of recording assessments, access to clear, unambiguous records of relationships between brothers and/or sisters is vital to care planning and decision-making. For example, if a child is placed in secure care, assessments and checks may be necessary before visits can take place. If this information is clearly available, it will minimise any unnecessary delay in ensuring brothers and/or sisters in this situation can spend time together. More guidance is given in Section 12.

10.12 When might it be better for brothers and/or sisters to live apart?

Brothers and/or sisters in care should live together in every circumstance where this is appropriate, unless this does not promote or safeguard their wellbeing. Decisions to separate brothers and/or sisters have serious implications and local protocols should be developed for authorisation of these decisions, with consideration given to seniority in authorisation. For example, it may be good practice for these decisions to require authorisation by the Head of Service who holds the responsibility for the child's care. Research tells us that the decision to permanently separate siblings:

"…should be treated with the same seriousness as the decision to separate children permanently from their birth parents"^[71]

Difficulties in sisters' and/or brothers' relationships can be supported within caring environments, but there will be relationships which are very difficult to transform, impacting on the extent to which all a child's needs can be met. The benefits and disadvantages of living together or separately for the child throughout their life (not just in the immediate future) must be considered.^[72]

Whilst these are exceptional, there may be circumstances in the interactions between children which indicate brothers and/or sisters should live apart from one another. The following is not an exhaustive list, and decisions must always be taken informed by comprehensive assessment of the children's unique circumstances. Interactions which may indicate a need for brothers and/or sisters to live apart include where:

• Significant safety concerns exist. For example, in situations where brothers and/or sisters have lived with abuse and have mirrored the behaviours of perpetrators of abuse and harmed each other. Depending on the nature of the abuse, it may be necessary to separate children in these circumstances.^[73] It may be that with specialist therapeutic intervention, brothers and/or sisters may be able to be brought together again.
• Intense rivalry and jealousy preoccupy children and limits how they tolerate one another receiving attention, to the extent that this causes harm.
• Maintaining entrenched roles such as victim, bully or scapegoat, is harming children. This may involve a chronic belief from a child that they are superior to their brother or sister and have a right to exploit them.
• There is highly sexualised behaviour between each other.

Any decisions to separate brothers and/or sisters should include consideration of the possibility of being reunited in the future if the dynamic has shifted and this becomes safe and developmentally appropriate. Therapeutic support to uphold sibling relationships is particularly important in such circumstances. Practitioners need to be given such tools, training, and resources – as well as sufficient time – to support this practice. Looked After Child Reviews and Independent Reviewing Officers also play a critical role in ensuring that such practice is taking place, and in continually keeping the possibility of children living with their sisters and/or brothers under review.

In addition to these indications based on children's interactions, decisions about whether living together promotes and safeguards the wellbeing of the child must also take other circumstances into account. For example, balancing the risks and benefits of sisters and/or brothers living separately from one another, if this means they can live with extended family members in kinship arrangements, with adults they have strong relationships with who will support them to see one another regularly. Consideration of the needs of young (including unborn) children who have older brothers or sisters living in care in settled long-term/permanent placements which are not suitable or available for the child, will also need to be given.

10.13 When might it be better for sisters and/or brothers to live near one another, but not together?

A local authority should place brothers and sisters together or near to each other, where that is considered to be appropriate. When making a decision to place them near to each other, however, the local authority must be satisfied that this would safeguard and promote their welfare better than living together.^[74]

Where an assessment clearly demonstrates that it would not safeguard and promote the wellbeing of a child to live together, but it is determined that brothers and/or sisters should be spending time together regularly, they should live near to one another. This facilitates and enables positive and natural opportunities to spend time together. For example, to go to the same school and be part of the same community.

10.14 What if brothers' and/or sisters' needs and views differ?

The views of all children who are brothers and/or sisters must be listened to and considered when decisions are made, but they may not always agree with each other. By communicating with children in skilled ways which enable each child to share their views and be heard, practitioners can thoughtfully and sensitively develop their assessments. More guidance on how to do this can be found in Section 7.

In all care planning, promoting and safeguarding the welfare of the child is always the paramount concern and principle. Where brothers and/or sisters have expressed differing views, and assessment has shown that it would not promote and safeguard the welfare of a child to live together with their brothers and sisters, this must be very sensitively explained to all the children, so that no child feels responsible, rejected or blamed. Everyone in the Team Around the Child must work together to find ways in which brothers' and/or sisters' relationships can be supported in a manner which aligns with the views and needs of the child. Over time, and with love, care and support, children's views may change and their relationships with their brothers and sisters can be supported to develop in line with these changes.

There may be concerns that the needs of individual brothers and/or sisters coming into care may differ, and that placing them together will only meet one child's needs or only the needs of part of the group of siblings. Concerns that keeping brothers and/or sisters together could result in needs not being met or might increase the risk of disruption in their care must be considered seriously but balanced with the risks of separating brothers and/or sisters, which can cause its own trauma.^[75] Through consistent love, care and therapeutic intervention it may be possible for healthier relationships between brothers and/or sisters to flourish, for creative solutions to be found, and for adaptions made to care arrangements to ensure these meet the needs of all children.