Staying together and connected: getting it right for sisters and brothers: national practice guidance

5. Who are sisters and brothers?

"Given that 'siblings' will mean different things to different children, the best way to understand what brothers and sisters means to each child is to ask them who they consider to be their siblings."^[24]

Families come in all shapes and sizes, and it isn't always straightforward to know or define who a child's brothers and sisters are. We know from The Promise of the Independent Care Review that what matters most are the relationships which are important to individual children, and how these are understood, supported and nurtured.

5.1 Legal definitions

The 2020 Act and the 2021 Regulations set out which people are considered as 'siblings', in relation to the legislative changes this guidance covers.

'Siblings' are:

• Those with at least one parent in common
• Those with whom the child has lived with, and with whom the child has an ongoing relationship with the character of the relationship between siblings^[25]

This means that the duties set out apply across the range of sibling relationships. Sisters and brothers are not only people with whom a child has one or both parents in common. They can also be people who have lived together, and who have an ongoing relationship which is like that between children who have one or more parent in common. Such relationships could include children who have lived together:

• and share a step-parent
• in kinship care
• in foster care (including relationships with the biological children of a foster carer)
• in residential care
• after adoption

This is not an exhaustive list, and there is no 'hierarchy' of brother and/or sister relationships. Children's own views on who they consider to be their sisters and brothers matter and must be heard and respected. When thinking about these potential brothers and/or sister type relationships, it is also helpful to consider the European Convention of Human Rights (ECHR). Article 8 of this Convention specifies the right to respect for family life, which "depends on the real existence in practice of close personal ties".^[26]

Creative solutions

'Lots of us know what it's like to be a sibling. "Borrowing" each other's clothes and watching your favourite TV show together. I missed a lot of that. I want to make sure that when sibling groups are taken into care, everyone around them can honestly say that they did everything possible to keep them together.' (Source: young person, Who Cares? Scotland)

5.2 Children's views

Legal definitions allow for a broad and flexible consideration of who brothers and sisters are, in recognition of the diversity of family relationships and children's experiences. Because 'sibling' means different things to different children, the best way to understand what this means for each child is to ask them.^[27]

While there may be some brothers and sisters who children always consider as such, there may be other individuals in relation to whom a child's view of their relationship changes with time, so their views should be revisited. Children must be given the opportunity to express their views about their brothers and sisters on a regular basis, for these to be taken seriously, and for them to be listened to in any decisions being made about their relationship with their brothers or sisters.

The definitions about who can be understood to be a child's sister and/or brother in legislation support listening to children and assessment of their needs. This can ensure that any circumstance where a person who may only be part of a child's life for a short period (and whom perhaps may not always have their best interests at heart) could not gain rights that would not be in the best interest of that child. The importance of establishing and maintaining trusting, respectful relationships between children and those who care for and about them is critical to do this. It is in the contexts of these relationships that children and young people can explore their thoughts, feelings and wishes about brother and/or sister relationships and be supported to make their own choices.

5.3 New relationships

It may be that new sister and/or brother relationships are created by children living together in care. Where this happens, it is important that the rights children have to live with these brothers and sisters, or to keep connected with them (where living together does not safeguard and promote their welfare) are respected and upheld as readily as these are for brothers and sisters who share a biological parent, for example.

Children who have one or more parent in common are sisters and/or brothers, regardless of whether they have lived together. These children may not know one another, but the relationship can still be very important to a child's sense of identity and wellbeing.^[28] Even when a child has never lived with a brother or sister, the relationship holds meaning and significance described as "a sense of 'what might have been'" felt from childhood and into adult life.^[29] If a new child is born to a parent in common, and their brothers or sisters have not lived with them (for example, if they are in care), these brothers and sisters have the same rights to live together, if appropriate, if they are also in care (or to live near to one another); and, if appropriate, to keep in touch with one another if they do not live together. Information about new brothers and sisters and enabling connection between them are key parts of the assessment, decision-making and ongoing planning and review for each child.

5.4 Adult brothers and sisters

Relationships between brothers and sisters are lifelong and can endure for longer than our relationships with parents and partners.^[30] Sisters and/or brothers do not cease to be so when they enter adulthood, and at times in an adult's life their significance can be particularly strong.

Children and young people in the care of the local authority may have adult brothers and sisters, and if they cannot live with them (where appropriate), their relationships must also be supported and promoted through direct contact, spending time together and keeping in touch (unless there is either evidence to suggest that to do so would not promote the welfare of the child, or a child has expressed a preference not to be in contact). Their views must be sought, where practicable, when the decisions are made about children's care, and they may have rich and important information to share to support children. For example, they may know details of the child's favourite toy or bedtime routine that can help provide comfort and predictability in a new place.

5.5 Sibling-like relationships

As well as children's own views, and the definitions given in legislation, research highlights characteristics of sibling relationships which may offer further assistance if there are still questions about whether a relationship should be considered as having the character of a brother and/or sister relationship.

Namely, brothers' and/or sisters' relationships often feature:

• Companionship, closeness and being playmates
• Emotional intensity and inhibition, fear, conflict and negotiation
• Role modelling and teaching
• A sense of belonging and security
• The role of subsidiary attachment figures^[31]

Relationships between brothers and/or sisters are all unique and different. These points should not be treated as an exhaustive framework, but as factors to be considered along with other evidence and the views of the child and those who care for and about them.

5.6 Safeguarding and promoting the welfare of the child

The child's welfare is always the most critical and important consideration. There may be circumstances in which a child has a brother or sister relationship, but the child is clear that they do not wish for this individual to have any role in their care or decision-making. The local authority has a duty to (where practicable) ascertain the views of all brothers and sisters before making decisions about a child's care. This should be undertaken in a way which takes the child's views into account, within the context of their developmental capacity, and which safeguards and promotes the welfare of the child.

5.7 Keeping records

Research evidence illustrates that in some cases in Scotland, recording of sibling relationships has been limited or non-existent, and that some sisters and/or brothers were not aware of one another's existence.^[32] It is crucially important that brother and/or sister relationships (indeed, all important family relationships) are clearly recorded for every child. This should include the child's views and their best interests in order that they may know their full family identity and have access to this as appropriate. Detailed information about recording can be found in Section 12.